The Solitaire Project

I'm not the only one with secrets. Range showed me that the very first day we were there. Spider finally made her decision, and we met up in the cafe.
"Nice to see you came 'round." I told her with a grin.
"Yeah, don't expect fireworks." she muttered, but I could tell she was pleased to see me.

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Well, I did it. I'm officially a member of the Solitaire Project! My codename is "Siphon"

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Range was unlike any man I'd ever met before, and I'm not sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Nida told me before hand that he made it his business to scare everyone at least once, and I believed her. But I didn't know he was going to do it like THAT.

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We left the hotel the next afternoon. I was excited, in spite of my constant telling myself that I wasn't going to be excited. I was also wearing clean clothes for the first time in a week, so that might have had something to do with it.

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I woke up as if someone had said "Wake up" right in my ear. I didn't feel very rested at all, in fact, there was a huge crick in my neck, and I felt cramped. But at least I was warm. The car had stopped in a parking garage, and everyone was getting up. Nida looked over at me and smiled. "Come on, Erin...EB...it's time for bed." she said. Which I'd just been asleep, I could have pointed out, but anything was better than sleeping in a car again. Spider just smiled at me. She looked a lot more cheerful than she had when we'd gotten in the car. Whatever they'd said to her had evidently calmed her down.

The hotel was one of the Regency's, and one that Spider and I never could have afforded. I was too tired to appreciate it, and just sort of shuffled after Nida when she led me into "the girls' suite" as she called it, which was a room with two queen beds and a roll-away set up. "I'll take the roll-away." she said judiciously. "You guys have had it rougher than me." It was probably rude not to argue but at that point I didn't care. She'd brought a suitcase. I hadn't. Our luggage had all been lost or left at some point in time, so it floored me when she pulled out three pairs of pajamas and handed them round.

"How do YOU know my size?" Spider asked, looking over hers. "Or color, for that matter?" Nida raised an eyebrow. "We're better at covert." she said simply. "And you forget, we have telepaths on our side." I wasn't sure how I felt about that, people that could read my mind at any time and pick out whatever they wanted, whenever they felt like it. It sorta made my skin crawl. I guess Nida picked up on that, because she turned and looked at me. "Baby, let me tell you something. Before you came into the Project, you're scrutinized. Yeah, we investigate you pretty hard. It's our job to find out as much as we can. Some of it's not easy for us to hear about but it's all your past, and it's part of who you are. You can't change it, and I don't want you to change it. You wouldn't be you. But let me tell you something else. Once you're a member of the team....if you join us...we never read you without your permission. Never. It's rude."

"So..it's like...you promise not to use your powers against your own people?" I asked, pulling off my clothes and pulling the pajamas on. Nida nodded. "What if I can't help it? What if it's an accident?" "There's a difference, baby. Everyone understands that." she said. "I can't help who I have visions about." Spider muttered. "Seers are exempt." Nida said, and winked.

I felt somewhat better, and washed my face in the bathroom. I needed a shower, but was dead on my feet. The clock said 6 am. I could have slept all day. "Nida...when are they going to wake us?" I asked as I came back in. Nida was making a face. "Probably around four. We will try to do some work and get back on a regular schedule. We've got a plane to catch tomorrow morning." "Really, to where?" Spider asked, looking interested. Nida smiled mysteriously. "You'll find out. Range is big on secrecy until after he knows if you're joining or not." "Is he crazy, of course I'm joining!" I said. "Erin!" Spider protested, and glared at me. I frowned. Anything was better than this. "Don't rush into a decision now." said Nida, climbing into bed. "Wait until you see everything."

I didn't need to see everything, I already knew.

Someone knocked on the window. I whimpered and clung to Spider. She clutched at me for a moment longer and then let me go. "We're strong." She told me, before opening the door. "Are you Amelia Roberts?" A man's voice was shouting over the noise of the helicopter. She nodded mutely. "Come on, then, let's get out of the cold. We've got a lot warmer place for you guys to spend the night than in there." the guy shouted back. His hair was being whipped all over the place. He didn't look like one of the guys who'd been following us for the last year. We stared.

"How to we know we can trust you?" Spider yelled back. The guy grinned. "Aside from blocking your visions for the last twenty minutes, we haven't done anything to you! I'll explain it in the car. Please! It's four degrees out here!" Spider looked at me and I looked at her. As one, we both scrambled out of the car. They'd mentioned powers. To us, that was a pass card. The other guy scrambled back towards the waiting SUV, and opened the back door, stomping his feet and flapping his arms. Two figures had gotten out of the back, and had hurried towards our car, I assumed to get whatever was left in it.

It was warm inside SUV, for which I was grateful. The seats had all been removed and rearranged in a limo-like U formation, and I took one along the side, next to a heat vent. Spider facing the rear, next to me. She was scowling, her eyes darting around the interior of the SUV as if appraising it. The man got in after her and slid the door closed, teeth chattering. "Sheesh. I won't say you two made that harder on yourselves than it needed to be, but-" "You blocked my visions?" Spider cut him off. The man blinked at her, and started to unwind the scarf from the lower half of his face. He had a very nice face, and looked vaguely familiar. Long black hair and very green eyes. I had the feeling I'd seen him before.

"Just for the last twenty minutes, you must understand." he said finally. "Otherwise it would have been impossible to catch up with you. The SSI is also trying to catch up with you, as well as the goddamn US military, and the state police. You've pissed off quite a lot of people. It's going to mean a fair bit of paperwork and memory modification. Fortunately, we happen to be good at that sort of thing, as Erin could undoubtedly tell you....well, she really couldn't." he corrected himself, and winked at me. I scowled at him, and Spider blinked at me. "Do you know him?" she demanded at me. "No!" I said truthfully. "I...don't think so." but I was having serious doubts, and eyed him. He looked familiar...so incredibly familiar. "Wait..."

"I told you, I'd put hooks in your mind so that you would remember at the right time." he said gently. "This is the right time, Erin. My name is Ian Larson, of the Solitaire Project." and that was all it took. I gasped quickly, grabbing at Spider's hand, as everything came crashing back. "Oh!! The mall!!" "What is going on?" Spider demanded, looking pissed. The door slid open again, and the two other people got in. Another man, and a woman who proved to be Nida took off hats and scarves. "Hey, Erin, how ya doin'?" she greeted me, taking a seat as the man knocked on the glass separating us from the driver as the door slid shut. The SUV started to move.

Ian grinned. "We met Erin here on her trip to Oregon. She didn't remember at the time because we didn't let her. Sixteen year olds don't have the best track record for keeping their mouths shut, no offense to you." he added to me. "None taken." I said, feeling somewhat disgruntled. I wouldn't have told anyone but Spider. Spider still seemed annoyed that her powers had been blocked. "This is Nida, also called Pinpoint." said Ian, gesturing at Nida, who smiled at Spider and held out her hand. Automatically, it seemed, she took it. "And this is Tom Bowers, called Static." The other guy grinned and shook each of our hands in turn. "You also got a different name?" Spider asked Ian, quick on the draw. He smiled at her and nodded. "Maelstrom. I assume you don't go by Amelia." She shook her head. "Spider." They were all looking at me now.

"I...I just go by Erin. Sometimes EB." I said. Nida shook her head. "Well Range will come up with something. He usually does." she said cheerfully. "The sooner we get back to temp headquarters, the better. It's a nasty night." "And bad for SSI to be out as well. Guess they wanted you bad." Ian guessed, glancing at the two of us. We exchanged looks. "But that can wait." Nida said firmly. "Right now, you're safe, and you're with us. That's all that matters." "We're not too sure on what "us" is." said Spider tactfully. "How do we know that what we took up with is any better than what we left?" "You don't." said the one called Static. "But we're not the ones with guns."

He had a very valid point. I was tired, and the heat vent was blowing hot air down the back of my neck. I relaxed into it. I wondered vaguely if it would be alright to close my eyes, here with these strangers, and if I'd wake up at all. "Go ahead, Erin." said Nida gently. "It's a three hour trip back to headquarters, and I don't think we'll be doing much tomorrow other than cleanup. We're beat as it is. It's been a long trip up here. We'll wake you." I forgot. She could read minds. "Only when you broadcast." she answered. I thought I heard Spider telling her to knock it off. They were talking, but I didn't hear much more of what they were saying. The seat was very comfortable. I slept.

We spent the night without heat. It had gone okay until about ten, and I had just started to doze off when Spider started shaking me by the shoulder. "Get up, EB, we gotta leave." she hissed. "People are coming for us." I couldn't help it, I started crying. We'd gone to all this trouble, and done some really, really bad stuff, and after all of that, they'd STILL found us? It was absolutely unbelievable. But I got up and stuffed my feet into my shoes. My hair was still wet from my shower and my clothes were dirty, and I felt horrible. I think I was coming down with the flu. Spider was stuffing things into a bag and bullets into her gun at the same time.

I ran my fingers through my hair and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked awful. I was pale, and my eyes were red. "Come on, babe, time to go." Spider said. She was already headed for the door. I followed her on numb legs. We left the door to the room wide open. Why bother? We didn't know a thing about shielding at that point. The jeep was low on gas, so we filled up at a station outside Denver, and then headed north. The weather was getting worse, and the heater clunked out. I was freezing. Spider didn't say much.

I guess we wanted to put as much distance between whoever was following us and us as possible, because Spider kept speeding and slowing down whenever she glanced in the mirror. There were no cops around.

One dark and lonely stretch of highway later, the snow was coming down in thick blankets, and Spider pulled into a rest stop. "Truckers use this place sometimes, but I reckon we'll be safe here." she said. I nodded, but didn't say much. I thought for sure we were going to freeze to death before morning. Spider's eyes looked kind of dead, and she rubbed her nose. "This sucks." I said finally, after ten minutes of sitting there. She nodded. "Wanna sit in the back? They've got a snack machine and we can share body heat." she said. I thought that was a much better idea.

We both got out of the car, and I got in the back. I heard a couple of gunshots and nearly wet myself, but it was just Spider shooting out the snack machine. Her fingers were too frozen to put in money I guess, or maybe we were out. She came back with donuts and beef jerky. Great breakfast. So now we were petty thieves as well. Or whatever the crime it is to shoot out a snack machine at a truck stop. I'd lost count of how many crimes we'd committed.

Gradually, I sort of fell over against her side and she started playing with my hair. I liked her nails. "Don't shut your eyes just yet." she warned me. "We have to stay awake until the ground starts warming up. Then we can sleep." I sighed and mumbled something. She pinched me underneath my ear. That got my attention. "OW, Spider!" I complained. "Don't fall asleep!" she scolded me. "Sorry." I said, somewhat annoyed. She kissed me on the temple and smoothed my hair again. "Just think about other things." "You think Charlie got out okay?" I asked her. She thought about that for a while.

"Cats are resilient." she said, still playing with my hair. "I'm sure he got out fine. They're better precognitives than I am. He probably left before those bastards even thought about getting there." That sort of satisfied me. "Hey, Spider, you think Paulo was chea--" I started to ask, but I never got a chance to finish it, because both of us heard something, at the same time that two headlights turned into the drive of the rest stop. What on earth was that noise? But Spider knew. She had grabbed my hands and was staring over my shoulder as it got louder. And now I recognized it for what it was...a helicopter. I made a small, scared sound in the back of my throat.

Spider's gun was under the front seat of the car. She couldn't reach it by the time the car was pulling up beside us. People were getting out. Mine was packed in my pillowcase in the trunk. We stared at each other again and then I don't know who made the first move but suddenly we were kissing again and I was crying. I was tired. Tired of running, tired of all the secrets, and tired of trying to hide from people who knew where to look. She hugged me so hard I thought my ribs were cracking.

The helicopter grew so loud I could hear it in my veins. And then someone knocked on the window.

Well, I told you I'd tell what I know, and here it is. The information I got from the dead guy, and here it is. Apparently, they don't work for this "Solitaire Project" they work for the SSI, whatever the hell THAT is. So now there are two agencies, and one is trying to stop the other. The Solitaire Project is made up of people like us. Me and Spider. Some call us mutants, some call us psychics, some call us Talents. I just call us "very unlucky". Anyway, I couldn't get much out of him about that, only that he was very scared of it, what it represented, and what it was trying to do.

Oh, and his boss's sister was a member of it.

Some guy named Maisley. I'll have to remember that. I told Spider and she grunted and went back to cleaning her gun. Anyway, the SSI is either funded by the government, works for the government, works independently of the government, or used to work for the government and then broke free because the government asked too many questions but is still sorta funded by the government because who really expects Congress to be paying themselves a million bucks a year to install $12,000 trees? or something like that. Like I said, the guy was decomposing as I was trying to pull his memories out.

I think...I think they wanted us to work for them. Maybe turn us into hired killers for the government. I ran this theory past Spider, and she got thoughtful. "Maybe." she said. "But they didn't seem very friendly at your parents house. If they were willing to kill Reggie, and he was one of us, then they were willing to kill us." "But Reggie wasn't able to use his powers to kill and Reggie was an Empath." I argued. "Empaths generally aren't that strong." Spider said, scratching her temple with her gun. I hated it when she did that, it always looked like she was going to blow her brains out, but I guess she knew what she was doing because to date she's never done it. Side effect of knowing the future, I guess.

Well, I thought about that for a while, and then sat crosslegged on the bed. Whatever this Solitaire project was, we had to hook up with them, and fast. But then, maybe they were just as bad as the SSI. Which was the lesser of the two evils, the guys we knew were trying to kill us or the guys we didn't know anything about? "Spider, can't you see anything on us in the next few days?" I asked, even though I knew she hated it when I asked those kinds of questions. But obviously she didn't mind my asking or knew I was going to ask because she was already speaking over me. "You know it doesn't work like that, EB. And besides, I've already tried. It just gave me a headache. Try and remember anything else about the SSI that you can, okay?"

And I tried, I really did. But all I was getting was hazy pictures of a building with long corridors and a room marked 331. I didn't know the significance of what was beyond 331 but evidently Mr. Hawkins (that was the dead guy) did, or used to work there. His mind was locked tight against that, though, and he had no memories of being beyond the door. So either he'd never been into room 331 or hadn't been allowed in. Or he'd been trained not to remember. I told Spider all of this, and she just sighed.

Lots of questions now. What in the world IS the Solitaire project, and is it the lesser of two evils? How can we find them, and will they find us? Who's the SSI and why are they trying to kill us? ARE they trying to kill us? What's in room 331?

I miss Reggie.

It snowed a lot today. We finally dumped Mr Dead Guy in the hotel dumpster before taking off in the Jeep. Spider smashed the bugs in his clothing under the tires. I wish we were headed someplace warm.

Whatever this "Solitaire Project" is, it scares me. I wish I could have found out more about it, but at the same time, I'm glad I didn't. Maybe my powers only work on truly inanimate objects, but like Spider said, he WAS inanimate. Really inanimate. But decaying. I dunno, the whole thing is confusing. Memories were leaking out of him. I've got a headache and the knit gloves aren't working too well to keep stuff from randomly popping into my head with everything I touch.

We stopped in a McDonalds for lunch and I felt like everyone was staring at us. I know I'm paranoid, but is it going to be like this everywhere we go now? I don't know how much more of this I can take.

We didn't go back to the hotel. We just drove northeast for a while. It got colder, and all I had on was a pair of jeans and a tank top, and we finally had to stop at some cruddy outlet mall to buy clothes. Spider had her credit card, but I didn't have any money. Spider said she thought her credit would be fine for a while, since she'd put away all that money, playing the lotto, and she knew she could get more, but she didn't want to use that card. If the government or whatever was watching us, they'd know she was using the card and where. "I'll find a bank and withdraw some, and then I guess I'll throw the card away." she said. "So we're officially on the run." I said. Nineteen years old and on the run. Like Thelma and Louise, only without the bank robbery.

Yeehaw, y'all.

Oh yeah. I refuse to be Thelma OR Louise, because both of those are dorky names. We argued about it all the way to Denver, where we got snowed in. Spider had to go out and bought ammunition. She said there was no reason we shouldn't be armed. That made me queasy, but then I thought about it. If worse came to worse I supposed I COULD protect myself. I didn't really like the thought of that either, but....

"Erin. I need you to tell me what you found out from that guy." Spider's voice cut into my thoughts. She'd given me a little over a day to recover. I shuddered. She'd been really nice about it, actually, hadn't pressed me one bit.
"Hawkins." I said. "His name was Hawkins."
"Yeah. I need to know." she said. "We both need to know what we're up against." Which was perfectly true. In a sense. I just wasn't ready to tell her.

I didn't find out Mom and Bill were dead until I was coming out of whatever drug they'd hit me with, about three hours down the road. Spider had played it cool driving, so the cops didn't stop us. They'd be shutting the entire base down at this rate. She told me finally, when I asked where they were. I guess I sort of knew. I mean, we wouldn't have blown the house up if they'd still been in there. So now I was dead, too. Supposedly.

Anyway, we made it just to almost the Arizona border and then found a motel. I wanted to sleep (still groggy) but Spider had worse ideas. "You gotta help me with this guy." I didn't want to touch him, but she was bringing the dead guy into the motel room!! She actually dragged him inside and slung him in the bathtub. Ugh, I'll never be able to take a bath in there. Come to think of it, I don't think Spider will, either.

"I don't know why you brought him." I said. "This is stupid, it's dangerous, and I don't want it in here." I was whining and I knew it, but it was scary. She just looked at me. "He's dead, but he can still tell us things about who he worked for. Or, he can tell you who he worked for, what jobs he's been on, and more importantly, maybe what he wants. Isn't that how your power works?" oh no no no, I was NOT going to put my hands on a shot up dead guy, and I told her so. We had a huge argument right there in the hotel room and I cried a lot.

I lost.

So I knelt down in a pool of congealing blood in a crappy hotel room and put my bare hands on a stiff, bloody corpse, and used the powers that Reggie taught me how to use. His memories were just like reading a paperweight in Spider's living room, or Paulo's roses, or everything I'd ever touched, I tried to tell myself, but it wasn't. They were clouded, and yucky. The body was stiff, cold, and sticky, and human. Gross. And I knew I wasn't ever going to be able to get this out of my mind, not ever.

He worked for some kind of agency. That much I could tell. And his name was Hawkins. He'd left town the morning before yesterday on a mission to find me and my parents. He was supposed to meet up with two other agents, and if he hadn't met up with the two of them, he was supposed to return to his homebase and wait for further instructions, the plan could not proceed without them. 331. Something very important was supposed to happen there, but what was it?

He had a cat at home named Tinkles, because that was all she did.

He had a six year old daughter.

I fell forward on my hands and knees and threw up. "What?" Spider demanded. "He had a kid. He had a little girl. Her name is Mindy and he was supposed to get her a birthday present." I gasped. "It was in his car." Spider looked a little troubled. "Yeah, well, we're people's little girl's too, don't forget that." she told me. "We're just older." I knew that but somehow it was different. I was glad I couldn't see her face. "Please, Spider, don't make me touch him again, please, don't...." I was crying again, but I had already started to put my hands back on him. There was more I needed -wanted- to know. This guy had worked for someone. There was something about a project. The name was escaping me. I needed to find out what it was.

I dug deeper into the pit of this guy's being, and the really black stuff started coming out. Like, evil stuff you wouldn't tell a priest. Suddenly I didn't care that he had a daughter anymore and she was better off without this creep. I was glad he was dead. "Erin....Erin....EB! EB drop him!" I could hear Spider yelling. My nose was bleeding. I was whimpering. The name was really close. Flashes of a building. He kept going down a hallway. There were people locked in rooms. They screamed, but there was something in room 331 that he had to get to or the people from the Solitaire Project would find out about it first, and...

"Erin!" *smack*

Spider had slapped me across the face. "What?" I gasped. She'd pulled me away from him. "Let him go, girl. Let him go. Your nose is bleeding." she said. She was shaking and white. I guess I'd scared her. I was shaking too. Maybe I'd scared me, too.

Yeah I know there's a lot of missing entries. I'll go back and fill them in when I get the time. If I get the time.

Thanksgiving was horrible. Not horrible in that "oh god I have to kiss my aunt Betty and she's got a mustache" way but horrible in that "oh god I think I'm gonna die any minute and I can't call the police because the police would just help the hired killers" kind of way.

Right now Spider and I are holed up in some shitty hotel. I can't say where, in case this gets read by the wrong people. I've got my laptop, and she's pretty good at jacking connections, which she needs to connect to her friends in....well, wherever it is that we're headed next. I slept pretty good, but then again, I was drugged, so that doesn't count.

Right. Story. Those creepy guys were watching the house again on Thanksgiving. They made Bill nervous, so he said I could spend the night with Spider, only to go out after dark and leave the back way and circle around. He also wanted me to take his sidearm of all things. I thought that was overdoing it a bit, but for once Mom agreed with him. So I did. We don't call each other on the phone anymore because we had a nasty feeling they've got the phone tapped, whoever it is that 'they' are.

Spider was waiting for me, in that annoyed way that meant she'd seen something in the very near future that meant trouble for both of us. "Get inside." she said, "And put something darker on." she didn't say anything else, so it must have been really really bad. (Which it was)

We just sat in her house with all the lights off. "Where's RogerRoger?" I asked once, just to break the silence. "I gave him to Dallas." she said. Okay, that was bad. It sounded like we weren't coming back. I didn't say anything after that.

Her alarm clock went off at midnight, and she got up. "Let's go." she said. "You still got that gun?" I nodded, and didn't ask how she knew that. Best not to ask. "You know how to use it?" I nodded again. Bill had taught me how to shoot it when he'd married Mom. He'd made Mom learn too. "Good, you're going to need to. EB, listen." she said, turning to face me. She looked kind of scary, blonde hair half up in a bun and dressed in her fatigues. I was forcibly reminded that she was a lieutenant. "Whatever happens tonight, I want you to do exactly what I tell you, and if you have to shoot anyone, you aim for the center of the body like your step dad taught you, okay?" "You're freaking me out, Spider." I said, trying to keep my voice light. "What do you mean, if I have to shoot anybody?" She just looked at me. "EB. It's important." she said finally. I stared at her, and then nodded.

It was total chaos at my parents house. There were at least nine men in all black swarming all over the place. They looked like ninjas, but I'm sure they weren't. That was my overactive imagination at work. Spider was awesome, she didn't even hesitate. Just waded in and started shooting, took out four men before they even noticed she was there. It made me sick to my stomach, actually. I'd never seen anyone shot before, except on the news. I threw up in a corner, and then someone yelled. "Erin Blake!" and something sharp hit me in the side.

After that everything happened really, really fast. I remember jerking the gun up and squeezing off two shots, which seemed to fly out really slow. I couldn't breathe, and the room seemed to be falling. My head was dizzy, and the floor seemed like a good place to take a nice, long nap. By the time I had fallen to my knees, there was more shooting all over the place, and someone kept yelling "Shoot the goddamn Seer!" until Spider shot him. Then she grabbed me under the arms and dragged me out of the house. I think I blacked out, because the next thing I remember I was laying on the grass outside the house. There were sirens in the distance.

"Shit, shit, shit." Spider was saying. "Get up, come on, we have to go." She had Bill's keys in her hands. "We can't drive his Jeep, he doesn't let anyone drive that car." I said woozily. She was pulling me over to it, pushing me into the passenger side. "Bitch, get in the fucking car, we have to go NOW." she snapped. She'd never sworn at me before, and it kind of woke me up. The first thing I noticed was there was a dead guy in the back seat. "Ohhhh get that guy out of here..." I moaned. "Shut up, we need him." Spider said, jumping in the driver's seat. She peeled out of the garage. "He wouldn't fit in the trunk, all the luggage is in there." she added, "I need you to throw this out the window." she said, handing me a makeshift torch. "Back into the garage. It's cheap glass, it'll break." "Why?"

"We're blowing up your house, that's why."

Told you my Thanksgiving sucked.

Those guys are back. I don't know who they are or what they want. Sometimes they just sit outside in the car and stare at the house from behind the Payless sign where they think we can't see them and sometimes they walk past on the sidewalk. I know they're all the same organization, they've got the same haircut.

They actually went into the chapel a few times. That made me so mad my vision went spotty, and Spider grabbed me by the back of my neck to keep me from going after them. What right do they have to go in there? Isn't it enough that they killed him? Do they have to parade it right in front of us? Oh yeah, "officially" they're from the Internal Affairs Office, to sort of Reggie's paperwork. There's no such office, according to Spider.

I didn't have a job, so I sat at home all afternoon, thinking about what to do. Spider would kill me, but she was at work, so there wasn't anything she could really do to stop me. Not that that would stop her knowing about it. She'd likely know about it before I did it anyway. She always did. Sure enough, as soon as I fixed the plan firmly in my mind, the phone started ringing. It had a particularly angry tone to it, but I ignored it. It rang pretty much non-stop the entire time I was putting my jacket on.

Well, what did she want me to do, sit around and do nothing? Reggie's killers were walking around free while we sat on our asses. I pulled off my gloves and left them sitting on the counter, petted Charlie a few times, and then did something I'd never done before in my life. I put my loaded service revolver in the back of my jeans as I went out the door. I still don't know, to this day, why I did that. I'm not the one gifted with foresight.

There were three cars in front of the chapel. I slipped inside and there wasn't a single man around in the narthex, but I could hear voices coming from the office. I eased in that direction. "Check those encrypted files. Anything with personal correspondence. I want the son's name and I need it today. We are not leaving here without it." It was a woman speaking and that struck me as odd. So far I'd only heard and seen men wandering around the base. Huh. There was the sound of shuffling. My heart was pounding. Didn't Reggie have a son?

"Tana, I don't think he would have kept anything on (edit name) in his office. We should try the house." said a male voice. The woman called Tana sighed. "We've turned the house upside down and didn't find anything. We've got all the evidence we can already take. I don't care if you tear this church apart. Find the son. This preacher had two other specs under his training and possibly more, and if we don't move--" but I'd heard enough. They'd been in Reggie's house. I cleared my throat and stepped into the doorway.

Four faces looked up at me, shocked. Three men and a woman in business suits. Two were wearing glasses. I almost thought it was worth it for the looks on their faces. "You've been in Reggie's house." I said, shaking. "You've been through his things. Isn't it enough that you killed him in cold blood?" The woman called Tana's eyes flicked down to my ungloved hands for a very quick moment before she looked up at me and smiled. "Now, then, Erin. You're one to talk about killing in cold blood." she said smoothly. So, she did know about Frank. That didn't surprise me. But I didn't care anymore. "Get out." I said. She stared at me coolly, and one of the men behind the desk chuckled. "We're not finished here, Miss Blake." he said, leaning over the desk. I turned my attention to him. "As you doubtless heard, we have not finished our investigation. But if there's anything you'd like to add to it, you'd be more than welcome to add to--" "You think for one minute I'm going to help you?!" I yelled, slamming my fist into the wall and knocking down a picture of Jesus. (Sorry, God, I apologized in my head)

He smiled. "Well, sooner or later, you won't really have a choice." he said apologetically, as if he was a teacher explaining something to a very small child. "You see, we know an awful lot about you, your habits, your schedule..."
"Where I live, where my friends live, where I go to school." I finished for him. "I already know all this. In case you hadn't noticed, I've been watching you follow me around for the past two years, I'm not stupid." Apparently this was news to them, and he and his buddy exchanged uncomfortable looks. "Take some surveillance classes. I'm an Army brat. This may work on civilians, but not on me." I said. "Leave now, you're boring me."

They exchanged uncomfortable laughs. I pulled out the service revolver, and all smiles were wiped off all faces. "I said leave now. Reggie was a friend of mine and I'm not going to let you deface his memory." I said. "You talk big, for a little girl." the man said coldly. "You have no idea how big I can talk." I said. I was scared. I'd never done anything like this before. The woman's eyes got really hard. I don't think they were armed. They must not have been. "So, is this the way you want to play it, Blake?" she said. "I said I want you to leave." I said. "I didn't say I wanted to talk." "Kid's got spunk." one of the other men muttered. "We'll cure that." Tana muttered, and collected her briefcase. She marched out of Reggie's office, and the other three followed her.

..........I think I've crossed a line.

Reggie died this morning. The only thing I could tell myself was that it wasn't Reggie in that bed, it was just a shell of a body that had been abandoned a long time ago for something better. Spider was with me, along with some guys that Reggie knew and had counseled along his career. It hurt. God how it hurt. And behind the hurt there was a rage that I hadn't felt since Frank was alone in the house with me. I wanted to find the people that had shot Reggie, and make them pay.

Short entry, I know. But there isn't a lot to say when the only man you've ever thought of as your real father, more so than the one you were born with, is gone. And the one man who could possibly take the agony away and make me feel better is laying in that bed. It'll never be worse than this. Ever.

All Hallow's Eve. They shot Reggie. The bastards whom I'm starting to refer to as the Men in Black, only they're not the men in black. There was a raid on the base chapel. We didn't get there in time. Spider and I were handing out candy (I wanted to go trick or treating but Spider said I was an adult now and would likely get laughed at) So I got candy at her place anyway which was just as well. I was a gypsy and she wore her combat fatigues. Then she was handing out candy to a couple of fairy princesses and went rigid.

"Oh shit Erin we gotta get to the chapel right now." she said and I just sorta looked at her. "Why?" I asked. "Reggie's gonna get too close to their source." she said, and slammed the door in the surprised princess's face. We went running out the back door and she jumped on her motorcycle and I got pony on the back. I could hear her growling all the way that there were too many kids out on the street and she was going to get a damn ticket if she went any faster. The Jeep was in the shop or we would have taken that.

You know in hindsight it was a perfect night for a murder.

We didn't get there in time. The car was just pulling away. I never did find out what Reggie had gotten too close to until much, much later.

There were two of the suited men coming out of the chapel. They seemed surprised to see us. One of them looked right at me, and there was a kind of surprised, 'what do I do now' look on his face. Yeah, that's right, you bastard, I thought. I know you've been following me around. Time for some payback. I jumped off the bike while it was still moving and ran right at him. "Erin what the fuck!" Spider was yelling. "GET DOWN!" I didn't even ask, I just ducked, and a bullet went right over my head. "Goddamn you!" I screamed, and made a grab for the nearest suit.

.......I've never seen guys move so fast. They saw my bare hands coming at them and they RAN like someone had set them on fire. I guess that proved beyond a shadow of doubt that they were following us for our powers, me especially. "Holy fuck. Holy FUCK!" Spider was swearing, driving her motorcycle right up on the sidewalk. The two guys had jumped in a second car and FLOORED it out of there. "What the christ were you trying to do, get yourself shot?" she screamed at me. "Reggie!" I yelled back at her, and she jumped off the bike and let it fall over with a crash and didn't even put the kickstand down or turn it off.

We ran into the chapel and she was faster than me. She was swearing each time one of her feet hit the ground. I was crying. I'd never been shot at before and it seriously freaked me out. Somehow though, even though I'm not the one who knows the future, I already knew what we were going to find inside the chapel. It was too quiet. Every light in the church was on. The sanctuary was filled with light, though there were no worshippers. Reggie would not have left the lights on, he usually cleaned up and went home at this time of night. We tore down the center aisle towards the alter. He was behind the alter, still kneeling as if in prayer. I fell over, something hot and hard rising in my stomach and fighting to get out of my chest.

"Reggie?" Spider asked in a shaky voice, and Reggie let out a faint groan. Oh god, he was still alive. There was blood coming out his head and his nose and ears but he was still alive. "Call 911." Spider snapped at me, and I had to force my feet to move to get up and run back down the aisle. Narthex. Office. Phone. 911. Emergency. Accident. Chapel. Shooting. Victim. The words all ran together. I don't remember what I said. In the end, I don't think it mattered. They took Reggie away. And the world is so much colder.

I will kill the ones who did this.

September 25. Yeah I know it says October. I'm telling my story from my diary, remember? Anyway, today was my 18th birthday. Can't really say that I enjoyed it much more than my other birthdays. Spider and Reggie and Paulo and Pinto came over and we had a cake with Mom and Bill. I've grown my hair out a little. Paulo calls me "Red" now. I think I love him. But I can't sleep with him. It's frustrating. I mean sure, we've "done" stuff. But it's hard to get away and do stuff when you're constantly looking over your shoulder for creepy guys in black suits who may or may not want to kill you. Oh, and you're concentrating on not killing your boyfriend and sending him into a coma by draining his memory completely. Did I mention that?

This must be how Rogue from X-men feels.

If Rogue were real, I mean. God, I empathize more with comic book characters than I do with real life people, mostly because I don't know of anyone actually IN my situation. How many eighteen year old girls have psychic powers? I still even haven't found the word for what I am. Spider's a Clairvoyant. Or Precognitive. She prefers precognitive because clairvoyant reminds her of her aunt Beatrice who could talk to ghosts and she said "Aunt Bea smelled like overcooked carrots and was a right old bat and she didn't want to be associated with her thank you very much" and besides, she likes Spiderman better. She can still play the lottery like nobody's business.

I wonder if there are people out there who can, you know, read minds, and stuff. I get the strange feeling there are, like there's something I should be remembering, but very time I think about it, I just draw a complete blank. I went back and looked at my postcards from Oregon after Paulo left. He said he'd call me later and we could go see a movie or something, but I don't know. I'm being melancholy, I suppose. He had to go to work. Spider stayed for a while and we ran around the backyard with RogerRoger, chasing Frisbees. Well, RogerRoger did. I mostly threw the Frisbees and he caught them. Bill and Mom drank beer and Mom told stupid stories about me as a kid while Reggie and Bill laughed. Pinto played the guitar and then we all had cake.

Is it wrong to feel so normal when you know everything isn't? Right now I just want to be a girl. But I know I'm not. There's something inside of me and I know that as soon as I slip up or take off my gloves, it's going to get out. I've killed a person. I killed Frank Bowers. I know by the time I get my entire diary online, the body count will be much, much higher. I'm not just a girl.

So, is it wrong? Welcome to adulthood, I guess....

So Reggie's teaching me how to hold memories literally in my hands. It's pretty cool. He calls it an attack technique. I really don't know where he learned all this stuff. Spider says Reggie knows a lot more than he lets on and I guess she's right. I don't know what my feelings are towards Spider, either. It's complicated. I think Reggie knows. That's his power, too. Everything's complicated.

I've been thinking a lot lately, about good and evil. Do the things we do in life count ultimately against us? Or does one small deed at the end of life redeem all the bad things? Is the reverse true?

(File incomplete)

I was so tired of it. The lessons were going well, but they were really putting a drain on my energy. Classes at school were hard, and Paulo was annoyed that I'd brushed him off yet again. I tried to explain it to him at Homecoming, really I did. We were up on the bleachers taking a breather and he'd put his hand down the front of my dress. I closed my eyes a moment, just wanted to feel, you know? I closed my eyes and sighed and leaned against the wall and arched my breast into his hand. "God, Erin." Paulo said next to my ear. "I want you so bad....let's just forget the dance, okay?" and I felt my heart sink. It's not that I didn't want him. I did, I really, really did. But I didn't want to hurt him. And I knew that I would. "No, Paulo." I said, pulling away. "I can't."

He got kinda quiet. "You're always pulling away from me. I thought you loved me." he said, and turned away and crossed his arms over his chest. I was cold and crossed my arms over my stomach. "I...do, I think I do." I said real soft. And I did, sorta. "Can't you wait on me?" I whispered. He sighed and kicked at the wall a few times. "I just don't know, Red." he said. "Other guys talk about it with their girls and I can't and I'm..." "This is about other guys perception of you?" I said and I was mad. "No, that's not what I meant!" "Then what did you mean!" "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said it like that." Paulo said, and he really did look upset now, so I let it go. I didn't know what else to say. But I didn't feel like saying I was sorry. Neither of us felt like dancing any more after that.

I didn't feel like going home either, so I called my parents from Paulo's cell phone and told them I was staying over at Spider's. Mom said that was fine, and I hung up real quick before she could ask me how the dance was going. I'd lied and told her I was still there. Spider didn't look surprised to see me. She just let me in and then held me. I didn't even know I'd started crying until I felt my makeup running. "Hush, you." she told me, pushing my hair back. "Let's get a drink and go sit on the swing for a while, okay?" and that sounded just fine to me. RogerRoger kept getting in the way but she pushed him into the back bedroom and closed the door on him.

She got two bottles out of the fridge and I went out the back door and waited for her. Spider's house has a high wooden fence, so RogerRoger can't get out. She's got a nice backyard, with a covered garden swing. She calls it an English swing, whatever that means. She likes to lay in it and think. She flopped in one side against the threadbare pillow and I sat down next to her and draped myself across her chest and put my head on her arm. "I don't understand boys." I told her. She lit a cigarette and blew the smoke away from me. "They don't get much better when they get older." she warned me. I had a feeling it was going to be like that, and sighed. She handed me a bottle and I took a sip, coughing at the strangeness of it. "Spider, is this beer?" I asked. "You want Coke instead?" "...........no." I decided. To hell with it.

She snorted, and took a measured gulp of her own. I imitated her, and it burned all the way down, but the aftertaste was....cool. The after-after taste was a bit nasty, but I figured I could get over that. I shuddered a bit and put my head back down. "So what happened?" she asked me, and I told her. She was quiet for a long time, and then her arms went around my waist. "He's pushing you for something you don't want, too fast. You shouldn't have to make those decisions. And, he's not like us. He doesn't have the gifts. He doesn't know how to block you, baby." she told me. I knew this, and I nodded. "I just don't want him to feel bad." I said after a while. The second swallow hadn't burned as bad as the first one did, and actually tasted okay. Spider chuckled, and kissed the top of my ear. "Oh, I think he feels pretty bad already. He does like you, that's his problem." she told me.

I wondered what she meant by that. His problem. Well, I didn't think I planned on marrying him, did I? I frowned. There was that girl at the flower shop. He'd seen her again when he'd picked up my corsage. I pulled it off and tossed it aside with a sigh. "I like him too, I just don't know if I want him...that way." I said finally. I felt drowsy and kinda buzzed. I hadn't eaten dinner. Spider adjusted herself a little, and took another swallow of beer before setting the bottle down and stubbing out her cigarette. "Honey, you're not ready for him that way. You're seventeen. You've got a lot of the world left to see." she told me. "There's plenty of time to have Paulo in there." "I'd rather have you first." I told her. I don't know what made me say it, and I know I turned bright red as soon as I did, but I couldn't take it back. I'd shocked her. She had taken a rather deep breath and let it out.

"I'm sorry." I said quietly, and started to get up. "I'll just..." "No." she said, and pulled me back down. "It's okay." She slid her hand around the back of my neck and I was ready for it this time and turned to meet her. I'd kissed Paulo several times already so I wasn't exactly a kissing virgin by now. She still tasted spicy, and sort of like smoke. I was trying to tell her that I wanted..I wanted..but her tongue was pushing past my lips and killed whatever I'd thought to say. I wanted to touch her back but I didn't want to hurt her...but didn't my powers not work on her? I didn't know what to do with my hands but she had her other hand rubbing down my side to my butt and that felt nice, so I put mine around her waist and found that I could lift up the back of her shirt. Her skin was warm, and didn't remember of anything.

I don't know how long we stayed like that, just kissing, but at some point we stopped and I put my face into her neck and fell asleep. I think she carried me inside. We were still friends, and Paulo was still my boyfriend...does that make sense?

And I turned seventeen. Reggie said he's pleased with my progress on my control of powers. I can now take memories out of things, put memories back into things, and sort of touch people without zapping them. By that, I mean I can still get memories, but they don't know anything's wrong. So I've stopped wearing my gloves to school. I still wear them everywhere else though, because it's just a pain to concentrate on everything all the time.

Spider gave me a necklace for my birthday. It was cool, it had an hourglass on it. "Because the past is the future, really." she said. Guess it made more sense to her than it did to me. Reggie just chuckled. He's been coming over to my house sometimes and helping me with homework. Mom really likes him and Bill thinks he's sweet. I'm glad. It's a long walk over there now that the weather's turning nippy. Paulo came over and brought me roses. They remember of a girl he thought was cute in the flower shop. Wonder what THAT means? Our relationship hasn't been going well.

Boys are so complicated sometimes.

Bill says he isn't sure if he approves of my friendship with Spider. He watched her on the shooting range and said she shot a perfect target. "Well, that's good, isn't it?" I asked. I'd been on the shooting range loads of times and only shot a perfect target twice and it was a fluke both times. I hated guns, they made me queasy. Bill said she was so much older than me, and she was a soldier. And her deployment kept getting delayed for some reason. Whatever, I told him she was cool. And she had a tattoo. "Better not let me catch you with one." Mom said. "Pfft." I said. I couldn't stand needles, what did I want a tattoo for? I didn't even like other people touching me.

Oh yeah that's another thing. Maybe Paulo was going for flower-shop girl because I brushed him off again. He keeps pushing for sex, and I'm not ready for that. I mean sure, a lot of other girls are doing it, but I'm not a lot of other girls. How many other girls would have to be thinking firmly about Reggie's lessons in memory not-wiping techniques while saying "oh baby yeah right there, mm yeah!" in just the right tone?

In other news, I got followed to the BX by the same dudes. I've started calling them the pseudo men in black. Not that they dress in black suits, but they try so hard to fit in, but they just...don't. They stick out like sore thumbs. Odd that the rest of the community seems to accept their stories that they're business men. Or maybe it has something to do with having psychic powers. Maybe I'm the only one that can tell there's something off about them, but Spider says they're creepy too. Maybe not. One of them actually got to within twenty feet of me. I could tell he was excited. Who knows, maybe he was just looking at my ass. He sure jabbered into his walkie talkie a lot.

Or however normal things can be around here. I'm dating Paulo now. We settled that right on the plane. I'm not really sure how that came around, I mean, I don't even remember the first two of our dates, but supposedly we had a good time. I guess that's okay with me. I spent more time thinking about Reggie. He's got to be one of the coolest people I know, and I don't even know why. Something happened on that trip, and something significant.

Paulo and I sat holding hands most of the flight back, and made plans to meet at the movie theater the following weekend. That was really cool. And, he is a good kisser. Different from Spider. I can't really describe in what way....it's complicated. Reggie kept shooting us looks in the plane, then shaking his head. I think he knows. He also knew that I was confused about something, although he didn't ask until three days later.

It was kind of a drag to descend right back into the same old same old of school and the base. I'd thought that the people would have given up by now and left me alone, but they hadn't. They were still there, and worse, they seem to have established a routine. They've set watches on most of the hangouts that I go to. Paulo's got one on his house, and Ricky and Pinto and Spider and Reggie's chapel. God, they're all over Reggie but at the same time...they're afraid of him.

"Erin.." Reggie stopped me when I was doing my homework one night and ready to go over there. I looked up at him and kinda smiled. Paulo had asked me to go to the ice skating arena and so I guess my mind really wasn't in it. "Sorry." I said, sure that I was about to get some sort of lecture. Spider wasn't with us, she was on late duty at the base. "We need to start you training with your powers." which was not what I was expecting to hear at all. "What kind of training, what do you mean?" I said and he smiled at me. "You were born with these, and they're a gift. You've already learned that they can be used as a weapon, and I'll teach you how to refine that, but I can teach you how to control that as well. I'm sure Spider told you that I taught her how to control hers." I just nodded.

"Well then, we can start on Monday." Reggie said. "Every Monday and Wednesday, you come here after school. Tell your parents you're helping me with church filings. I'll teach you what you need to know." I hugged him around the middle again and he kind of laughed at me. I had to hurry or I'd be late for my date with Paulo. Reggie was one strange, strange guy.

There was a guy waiting for us at a table in the food court with a sandwich and pickles. He looked young, (and cute) and he stood up when we came over. He had the bluest eyes I'd ever seen on a guy....well other than Brad Pitt but he doesn't count. I'm not sure Brad Pitt is really human anyway. And he had shoulder length black hair with just a slight wave. "Hi." he said, grinning at the two of us. "Nida, did you freak her out already? You're going to scare off every single potential we have. You know how Range is about that." Nida shrugged and looked apologetic. "Sorry. Erin, this is Ian Larson." Nida said, setting our food down. The Larson guy was wearing gloves too, and that reassured me somewhat as he shook my hand. These people were....must have been...had to have been...like me. He smiled.

"No, not exactly. I'm not telemetric, I'm telepathic. Both Nida and I are, only Nida's got some extra little gifts that I don't have." he said without my having to ask. I choked on my Pepsi. "Telewhat?" I asked. Nida patted me on the back. I looked at both of them. ~Telepathic. It means we can read minds.~ The words echoed in my head, and I knew they were from Nida. She hadn't spoken out loud, but she was looking right at me. She'd said the words directly inside my head. That was so cool. ~I know it is. Freaked my mom out a bit when I was a kid, but I learned at a young age to turn it off and on.~ I decided to try it out. ~Can you hear everyone's thoughts?~ I thought at her. ~Just about.~ To my surprise, it was the man, Ian, who answered, sipping his soda through a straw.

"It's a pain if you're not trained properly." Nida said out loud. "That's what the Project is for. Well, one of the things the Project is for." "What's the Project?" I asked. The two of them smiled at me. "You'll find out soon enough. It's not time for you to know yet. Otherwise, I'd ask you if you wanted to go with us. But Reggie's training you, and he doesn't want us to take you yet, so we've been asked to step back." Ian said, taking a bite of his sandwich. I remembered that I had food then and started digging into mine, though I couldn't have told you what I was eating. "But Reggie doesn't know about this, does he?" I asked with my mouth full. Nida laughed like something was funny. "Don't you worry about that." she said, and changed the subject.

"The Project," she went on, answering my earlier question, "is made up of psychics, if you will. We work to train others like us, when we find them. Education is one of our key goals, along with research into what makes us who we are. And...we do have other goals." "Security is also a key factor." said Ian. "Obviously, as you've already found out, there are those out there who are afraid of us, or who want to use our talents for other purposes. They will not hesitate to coerce....or simply kidnap people off the streets. Obviously, we are fighting back."

"Fighting?" I said, a little nervously. Nida smiled sadly. "Yes, Erin, fighting. Sometimes, it's necessary to fight to protect the people you love. You'll get this speech again later, I'm sure." she added, checking her watch. I felt a funny prickling at the back of my neck, and rubbed it. I had the distinct sensation that one of them was doing something to me. Ian winked, and I blushed. "Don't worry, cutie." he said, reaching over and tweaking my nose. You won't remember this encounter either, but I've put enough hooks in your brain that you'll remember our faces when the time comes." I was offended. "What do you mean, I won't remember? That's very intrusive."

"I know, sweetie, but it's the safest way." said Nida, patting me on the back of the hand. "Finish your lunch, and we'll drop and Paulo off by the gift shop. You two had another date this afternoon." I knew that we didn't, and she was probably going to make me think we had. It wasn't fair. But at the same time, I sort of understood. This was what Spider was talking about, the whole using your powers as a crutch thing. I stabbed at my lo-mein, not really hungry anymore. Ian touched the back of my hand again. "Erin, when you join our team, you'll be ready for it, I think. You'll be older, and wiser, and Reggie will have taught you everything he knows. He's a really smart guy, and I'd have given anything to be personally trained by him. So stick with him, okay?" he said, and I found myself staring into his eyes. "Okay." I agreed. I mean, I liked Reggie a lot. That these two strange, fantastic people obviously thought so highly of him was really, really weird.

We got up and headed over towards the gift shop, me still feeling slightly resentful. "When will I see you guys again?" I asked. I could see Paulo looking at a large model of a dinosaur. He grinned at me and waved, and I waved back. "Oh, if you're lucky, in a few years. If you're unlucky, maybe a month or so." said Ian, and he brushed his hand across the back of my neck. For one horrible minute I thought the world was going to fall upside down and drop me on the ceiling, but then the awful dizziness faded, and I was back on my feet again.
"That was one long bathroom break." Paulo said, grabbing my hand. "Sorry, I got the lock jammed." I said. "I promised Spider I'd buy her a shark tooth. "Sweet. Who were those people you were talking to?" he asked, jerking his thumb over his shoulder. I frowned and glanced over my shoulder. There was no one there. "What people?"

"Some lady...nevermind...must have been imagining things." he said, shrugging. "Weird." I said. "Well, anyway. Souvenirs?" "Good idea." And we went to buy them.